Update

I’ve been terribly remiss at posting and recently deleted several posts so it seems like I’ve commented even less than I had! Life has been totally unreal for me the past two months, leaving me feeling exhausted, depressed beyond description, and now physically ill.

Since my mom’s passing last January, I honestly fooled myself into believing that my life just might MIGHT be on track. Still don’t have any money, but I had a job I enjoyed and found rewarding and now that my kids are older and I’m not spending every weekend taking care of my folks I was beginning to actually have a social life. (My parents became ill shortly after we moved to a new state. I was just starting to feel like this was home and get active in some things when I had to resign or put everything on hold)

Why is it whenever you think things are okay….

Well the plug has been pulled on me for certain. Things are so bad at work, and I’m so paranoid about it all, I’m scared to post anything here…or anywhere. Just say that there will be MAJOR changes in my office over the next few months and right now we haven’t a clue re: what they might be. Given the current dynamics between me and my immediate supervisor, my unemployment (along with many others) is a real possibility. For now, the not knowing is much worse than anything that might occur. Once we know more, I feel I can then start making my own decisions. For now…

Thing is, with all this uncertainty, I should be working twice as hard proving how invaluable I am, but because any decisions will be based entirely on politics and now on what’s really important, it’s all but impossible to feel motivated to do ANYTHING.

There’s more to my stress than work but it’s so overwhelming I can’t begin to worry about other things! Don’t know if that’s good or bad, but that’s the way it is. So for now, I’m living day-to-day, not having a clue if I can pay for Christmas much less my son’s tuition in January.
Such is my life for now